.not what, but how.

“16 Therefore we do not lose heart, but though our outer man is decaying, yet our inner man is being renewed day by day. 17 For momentary, light affliction is producing for us an eternal weight of glory far beyond all comparison, 18 while we look not at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen; for the things which are seen are temporal, but the things which are not seen are eternal.” 2 Corinthians 4:16-18

I had a friend on our worship team send me this verse the other day and it was super encouraging. I thought I would share it with everyone along with a few other things…

My birthday is coming up in less than a month. I will be 22, which doesn’t mean a ton but it always makes me look back on how I did as a 21 year old. It was a wild year. I look back and see a lot of incredible things God did in my life at such a young age. I got a job as worship leader at an incredible church in my hometown, I meet an amazing girl and I am still learning things, as God shows me, from that relationship, I have an awesome team of volunteers that support me and believe in my vision at Calvary Chapel. I experienced true grace in my own life as well as in the life of a best friend. The list goes on and I feel joyful thinking about what the future holds. But, of course, on the other end, I have the things I look back on and say…”eh.”

I caused a friend to stumble, I hurt people close to me, I lost friendships, I killed a cat, I spent more money than I had, I totaled my truck, I lied to people to protect myself… in other words, I did things I have been doing for years. There is a pattern here; a pattern that reminds me that He makes ALL things work together for our good. ALL things. That includes my mistakes. 

I recently moved back in with my parents and it was weird going into the fridge and feeling like I was stealing from my roommates, but I got over it because I was hungry. Being home is always nice and quiet. I moved from a house with seven dudes, some weren’t Christians, some were, and it was noisy. It was a weird living situation so coming home was much needed. The month before I came home a lot happened. It felt like each week God was stripping things out of my life one by one. Which leaves me saying..”Uhhh, hello? I need some of those things!” 

I didn’t.

What I needed was Jesus. And to deal with sin. I think the number one thing I learned in my 21st year of life was I needed to deal with my sin. I had compromised for so long on things that I thought I could deal with overnight. The longer I waited the more ingrained the sin got and I am now left with nothing but the room I grew up in and Jesus. And it’s been incredible. It’s been so hard with so much pain but what keeps me going is I can see the other side. The enemy doesn’t let you see the other side, but God shows you what you need and shows you the reward at the end.

I’m not sure what the next step is for me and for my ministry. I’ve always known what kind of man I need to be but this time I’m allowing God to show me how to get there. I couldn’t be more excited and I pray He brings certain things back that He has taken away, but for now, it’s just me and Him.

…forgetting what lies behind and reaching forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus. Philippians 3:13-14

.Fitting the Mold.

I remember when I was a kid we would always race before school. Now, usually the races consisted of 5 really fast kids running and everyone else watching. It was a serious time of the day for a lot of us. It was the first time in my life where I felt competitive. I felt like I was pretty fast for a 4th grader…maybe not as fast as AJ, but lets be honest he was a 6 foot 5th grader with the wingspan of Lebron James. Odds were not in my favor. Anyway, I finally got the courage to race. I laced up my kicks real good and walked to the starting line. My knees were weak, palms are sweating, vomit on shirt from my moms spaghetti. Everyone was watching and probably extremely worried for my embarrassment but I didn’t care? I had nothing to loose. I was small, white and had a hammi-down t shirt on, (now a days I would considered be cool but times were different). So, we lined up and the little guy to my left gave us the final words…”On your mark, get set…GO!”

Done…I ate it.

About two steps into the race my foot slipped and I rolled all over the rocky clay. Everyone was laughing, I was crying. It was like the opening scene to a terrible childhood drama.

Later that year, I redeemed myself. I ended up beating that same kid and would race everyday until the school year came to an end. I was known as the fastest white kid to step foot on W.T. Moore’s terrible, terrible playground. 

I tell you all of this because there is meaning hidden in that story. I didn’t fit the mold of those races. I was just a kid that thought he has a chance to win. Now that I’m older and have experienced life a little more, I realize somethings that our christian community has formed into. It’s formed into a mold, a certain way you have to be in order to be taken serious. Or as the popular word for today is “legit”. You gotta be LEGIT BRO! Trust me, I want to be who God has called me to be, if that is legit, then I’m all about it.

I read the Bible and I see Jesus and who He was as a person…kind, generous, full of grace, full of mercy, loved the ones who were not loved, wise, leader, personable, etc. Obviously, we can’t be just like someone who was perfect. Our job is to strive to be like Jesus, but knowing that we will fail at times, but knowing what He did for us. We can all agree on that. 

I love the verse 2 Corinthians 12:19. It is explained so well and simply put. “My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness.” 

Honestly, all of this to say…try and fit the mold of Jesus. Not what your community of believers want you to be. Strive to be like Him and blessings will come, along with trial and failure. But, remember the cross and remember that you were worth it. Tomorrow is full of new grace and mercies. Learn from your failures and move forward. I’ll end it with a quote from Head Coach of Duke Basketball, Coach K: “You got to be thinking about the next play.” You got to be looking forward and be thinking about the next trial and the next place He wants you to be. There is no list of what you have done in His heart. He loves you and is for you. 

 

That’s all I got.

 

Jordan

.The Presence of God.

Haven’t really had an opportunity to sit down and write about what God has been doing inside my heart that has dramatically changed my life.

I had a very interesting year. Full of confusion, discouragement and worst of all I had developed bitterness towards the situations around me. One thing I can say is that I never doubted my God. He was always speaking to me in those times and though His voice was soft and simple it was all I needed to keep going. I found out a ton about myself. I revealed a lot of hidden sin that I didn’t know what to do with for such a long time. My heart had become numb. It had gotten so bad I didn’t even feel bad. I tell you all of this only to share with you what God did to me on a hot summer day in Keller, Texas.

I had heard from the Lord about two months before OE ended that He wanted me to leave Florida and do an internship at a church. So, I began my search to find a new home for the next couple of months. At the time, I was dating an amazing girl who was from the Dallas/Fort Worth area. Her mom had given me some contact information with some churches in the area and I took advantage of it. The list was about five different churches some big, some small. I had heard back from three, one wasn’t doing internships and the others were totally excited for me to come. Between the two churches in the time of deciding which one I was going to invest my summer in, there were a lot of differences. Most of you might know Gateway Church which has blown up the last five years or so. The other was (in the Texas world) a smaller church, Milestone. My options were big or small. Naturally you want big only because it seems like the most opportunity. I got on my knees and started to pray and the word I kept getting was “Keller…Keller…Keller…”

So, couple of weeks later here I was packed and ready to go with my brother in the passenger seat in my single cab truck headed for Milestone Church in Keller, Texas. Looking back and when I tell this story I realize how crazy I was kind of being. I knew nothing I was getting myself into. The Worship Pastor was bunking me with this guy who worked at the church who I didn’t even remember his name. I knew nothing about the church but the little bio on there website and the phone conversations I had with the Worship Pastor. I was going off a paragraph bio and my gut. I felt peace. I had never been so excited to go somewhere that I knew nothing about. I figured God got me this far, can’t back out now!

I arrived in the Milestone parking lot on a Tuesday afternoon around twelve o’clock, greeted by Worship Pastor Pat Brown. (Incredible man. He genuinely cares about people and there relationships with the Lord. Spoke a lot of truth into my life that summer and couldn’t thank him enough). I walked in the offices and was greeted then by everyone on staff including my new two roommates Blake and David, who had brought about six of there friends who I became to grow very close with over the summer. Well, what do you do in Texas? Eat. We left the church and went straight for Spring Creek BBQ. Mind. Blown. I had never seen or eaten anything like it. I thought to myself if I get anything out of this summer it will be the amount of amazing food I will consume while here. So far, so great! I had meet everyone I will be working with and was getting settled in at my new home.

Now, before I keep going let me back up just a tad. Before I had left for Texas, God had been showing me a lot about church outside of my norm Calvary Chapel. The girl I was dating started bring me to this church that meet on Friday nights called “The Harbor” . It was a charismatic church, which then I was so uncomfortable every time we went for the first month, and she knew it. Looking back I see what God was doing. He was preparing me for an encounter I would never forget and would change my life forever.

Back to Texas. I had my first Wednesday night at the church which was there youth group called “Elevate”. Blake, my roommate was the worship leader and graphic designer for not just the youth but the church as a whole. It was cool to see how they did it and how the kids responded. It was the summer so the number of students was lower than normal but they still had at least 200 kids there. When I talk to them now they have well over 300 and have set a goal for 500. Trust me, they will do it.

At this point I was really starting to connect with Blake and all of his friends. It was like I had been there for months. They accepted me right away and it was starting to feel like I was apart of something. I meet with Pat (worship pastor) every Tuesday morning just to talk and do discipleship. As much as I was really enjoying being there I was going through a lot. Seeing the way this church was run from the head pastor to the janitor there was something about it that I wanted. I needed. I was needing to hear from God on some things. I was confused why I couldn’t and why everyone else around me could. I believe Pat knew what I needed to do with Ocean’s Edge, but what he didn’t do was tell me. He wanted me to figure it out and make my own decision. We would meet and I would just beg him to just tell me what to do so I can stop stressing about it. I had the school calling me, breathing down my neck. I had a girlfriend who wanted me in Texas, I had a family that just wanted to know something and I had a God who was smiling. God knew I was going to make the right decision. Some argue was there even a right one? I believe there was a better one. Did I make the better one? I starting to believe so, but to be honest it wasn’t about that. It was about seeking God and His next step for me.

I had about 3 weeks left before I left…or stayed. It was coming down to decision time. It was a Tuesday morning (same day of the week I arrived at Milestone) and my spirit was heavy. We had started doing these prayer meetings for Elevate at Pastor Tyron’s house (youth pastor) all summer. Milestone believes in the gifts of the Holy Spirit. They believe in baptism of the Holy Spirit. They believe it is an act of faith to ask for your gifts and to act on them. I remember after Elevate one night Tyron wanted to pray for the kids because something felt off about the night and he felt the enemy was going to attack this summer. So, all the leaders and I went to the back room and just began to pray. Now, when you hear pray you hear “Alright, Jordan pray for us real quick.” When they said prayer, they meant it on a whole other level. I had never experienced anything like it. It wasn’t the fact they were praying it was the emotion behind it and the FAITH they put into it. We weren’t praying because God told us too. We prayed because we believed in what God can do. Come on somebody…

Sorry, I hope your keeping up.

Back to that Tuesday. I knew we were going to have our prayer group for Elevate that night and God had been working in me. I told Tyron that weekend I wanted to be baptized in the Holy Spirit Tuesday night. His response via text “ok”. I woke up that day and felt heavy, dark, like a cloud was over my head. I was being attacked, which meant I knew I was doing the right thing. It had been a day of phone calls and emails from the school, family, girlfriend, friends. All wondering the same thing. I was frustrated. I walked into the offices and went straight to see Tyron. I sat down and told him how weird I was feeling. He told me to take the day off and spend sometime with the Lord. I left and on my way home me and my mom were arguing about what I was going to do and little things that didn’t matter. I walked in my door and sat down. Phone rang, of course, but this time it was Tyron…”Come back up here. We gotta pray.” I knew it was the moment God had been preparing me for. The last two years of my life have been him shaping me and molding me for an encounter I would never forget.

Next thing you know its the two of us, at 3:30 in the afternoon, in a mothers nursing room, in Keller, Texas at Milestone church. He told me to tell him everything. Every sin, struggle, temptation I deal with in my heart. I let it all out. Told him everything. The list was a little longer than I intended but that was besides the point. The point was, honesty. When I had told him everything there was nothing to hide. He looked at me while pointing at the list and said “This is why you can’t hear from God.” I had never felt so small. So dirty. So sinful. He left the room and told me to pray for forgiveness. I prayed and prayer and prayed. Nothing. I couldn’t feel a thing. I didn’t feel bad of the sin, I didn’t feel any hurt. I just felt embarrassed and ashamed. He came back in and I told him “Nothing.” He said “Alright, repeat everything I say.” He went through the list one by one. I was pressing in so much to God, crying out to Him more than I ever have. he instilled this image in my head that moment. The image of me carrying this huge pallet of bricks. Each brick stood for my different sin and as we were praying the brick were flying off and exploding in the air. It was incredible. To this day, I still feel there is another level on brokenness I need to be at. There always is, but what happen then was the start of something that would not only change my life but the people I encounter in my walk with the Lord. I believe that.

He told me to stand up and to lift my hands in the air. He placed his hands on my head an began to pray a simple prayer with me. I told God that I believed He had more for me. He had gifts for me and that I wanted them right now. With my arms out to Him I prayed for the Baptism of the Holy Spirit. I prayed to receive whatever He had for me. I took that step of faith. I had been around it all summer and had experienced the fruit of it with my own eyes. I told God that He has a prayer language for me. Tyron told me to start trying to repeat what he was saying. He started praying in tongues and I tried my best to say what he was saying but something completely different came out. I had never felt the presence of God so much than that moment. The old heaviness was gone and a new one was placed upon me.

I left Texas a couple of weeks later, changed. When people doubted why I was going in the first place I just smiled and told them “God has something for me out there.” There will always be doubters. People who don’t understand or believe. I didn’t lead worship but one song that summer and I experienced God more than I ever have. I don’t tell you this story to freak you out. I don’t tell you to say “Hey, look what Jordan did.” I tell you because it shows the power of God. That the presence of God isn’t just a moment, its a walk of life. I didn’t tattoo “With Everything” on my chest because I like the song. Its a way of life. With Everything I had I moved to Texas. With Everything I had I revealed my sin. With Everything HE had, He came and rocked my world. There is more of Him out there and He wants you to experience it.

Hope this is more than just a story.

Jordan D. Colle

.Heaviness of God.

It’s been so long since I have sat to gather my thought’s and my life. I live so in the moment and seem to forget what is really going on around me or ahead of me. Finishing up one page of my life here in the next week and this page has been thick. This page started really clean and harmless, but sometimes it feels like I have created a beast.

So much of my time here at Ocean’s Edge have been the Lord chiseling away to make me who He wants me to be. To be honest, to doesn’t always feel good. I have been broken down to a point where I questioned a lot of what I was doing. Asking questions that were making me check my motives about being a worship leader. BUT, He breaks you down only to build you back up. Even though I still am in the building up process, I understand. There was a part of me that was hard. Something in my past had made me bitter and angry towards God, and He wasn’t going to let me move on until I let Him in.

I have a girlfriend. Her name is Emily and whether she is the “one” or not she means a lot to me. She has more faith than anyone I have ever meet. If she says “I could fly right now if I wanted too…” she means it. (Don’t laugh because I have made that mistake). She has pushed me in ways that I never thought my spiritual life could go too. Because of her pushing me I have had encounters withe the Lord that have changed my life, forever. God has used her in my life to make me grow deeper with Him and it is starting to show when I lead worship. She always tells me to “speak it out”. At first I was a little weird about it, just saying everything out loud even when you feel like an idiot. I am telling you….the MOMENT you believe what you are speaking out to the Lord something happens. Something in your Spirit turns on and its real. Focusing that towards leading worship has been amazing. I feel this connection with the Holy Spirit on stage more than I ever have. I call out to Him, He hears me, and He responds. Its something, I don’t think I will ever fully comprehend but will always push for more.

I am moving to Texas for the summer! I will be doing a summer internship at Milestone Church in Keller, TX. Really cool worship pastor named Pat Brown that I have been in contact with. Seems as if God could be doing some cool things for the church and me while I am there. It’s going to be eye-opening and little be in everyday ministry, seeing all the behind the scene stuff. Leave you with this one:

“For when we were still without strength, in due time Christ died for the ungodly. For scarcely for a righteous man will one die; yet perhaps for a good man someone would even dare to die. BUT God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were still sinners Christ died for us.” Romans 5:6-8

.Becoming A Godly Man.

I took a step of faith coming back to Ocean’s Edge. I saw both sides of a situation and I felt that God was pushing me to a specific side. That is what we call “making a decision”. Sounds pretty simple right? You look at your situation and turn to the Lord and say “Let Your will be done…” and you become quiet.

Its been an amazing last couple of months in the life of Jordan. Full of decisions making. I’m feeling refreshed with my walk with the Lord, I feel confident in where I am in life. He has really been speaking clearly or maybe I’m just listening better? Let’s go with both. What’s made these last couple of months so exciting is I’ve been put in situations and I’ve sought God threw them all. Has it been easy? Not at all, but at the end of the day He knew all along what was best. I think I have come to realize I don’t need to do all of this on my own. I have a powerful, faithful and willing God that is waiting for me to call on Him.

I titled this blog “Becoming A Godly Man”. I’ve always made it a goal to seek Him more and more each day. Through the seeking you find out that He is seeking you as well. A Godly man is a lifestyle you choose.

Being a leader at my school and with the worship team I’ve had to choose that specific lifestyle. Its not what I do on stage, its my daily conversation: “What are me and other brothers in Christ talking about in everyday life? Is it fruitful? Are people seeing God through us?”

These are questions God has showed me to ask myself everyday, in every step I take. “Is what I’m doing right now reflecting the image He wants us to reflect?” He has give us the privilege/honor to be the image people see of Him here on this Earth. It creates such a humbling picture in my mind…that the God of the universe would use me and you? The reality of it is, He has chosen us and given us a responsibility and us as Godly men need to take that to heart and be examples wherever we are.

Sometimes my life lets me forget that I’m still 19. I say all this as someone who is learning as they go. I’m nowhere near the man God has called me to be, but I wake up everyday and ask myself “What is Jordan going to do to Glorify the Kingdom today?”. When this is your mindset, people will catch on. I promise.

HOW HE LOVES.

-Jordan D. Colle